7-Stage Parenting
Description
Children change. The parent that they need as infants is quite different than who they need as teenagers - that is obvious. But how do you know what they need?
There is a consistent pattern to their changes that shows up regardless of culture, gender or personality. While you can and should respond to their individual uniqueness, the underlying pattern, based on a well-established theory of psychological development, provides a framework for knowing what approaches will support them and be most effective at each stage. You can be the mum, dad or step-parent that your child needs you to be. You can develop as a parent alongside their development as children.
This book will help you enjoy your parenting journey, relax in the the recognition that certain changes are to be expected and are part of their healthy maturing process, with a corresponding reduction in stress and uncertainty. It will help you be confident and to trust your inner, instinctive knowing ahead of other people's opinions and theories.
I wrote the book because it presents what I wish I had known during my own parenting journey. It also helped me see my own parents with fresh eyes and understand more about my own development.
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Content
Rooted in the theories developed by Prof. Clare W. Graves, which are also now referred to as Spiral Dynamics, this book recognises the 7 stages of development from Infancy to Adulthood and presents their special features and the needs that each stage presents to parents.
It also takes a strong stance for the parent as the expert on their child and encourages trust in an intuitive and instinctive bond between parent and child. The book does not tell parents what to do, but it helps them know who they need to be in order to meet their child as the individual they are. It offers a shared developmental process that helps set people free from their own histories and other people's prescriptive formulae.
The stages themselves are simple and easy to understand and the guidance that is offered is equally straightforward. At the same time the book is one that repays revisiting at regular intervals, and its crystalline simplicity holds a richness within offering a depth of value over time.
Learning to Parent
There's no such thing as a perfect parent
Nature or Nurture: What makes us who we are?
Why Seven stages? The Human Development Spiral
Beige: Parent as incubator
Purple: Parent as Tribal Chief
Red: Parent as Border Patrol
Blue: Parent as Rule-maker
Orange: Parent as Manager
Green: Parent as Guide and Mentor
The Yellow Stage: Entry into Second Tier: Parents as friends
Postscript 1: A note about time
Postscript 2: Teaching children about choices
