Still Complaining
Description
Once again we are blessed with yet another collection of Jim Foster's ravings. His first book, I hate to complain, but ... with its views on everything from bank mergers to the author's 30-year love affair with Sophia Loren, is being hailed as a classic example - though of what no one is quite sure.
Readers will be amazed at the depth of the author's knowledge on just about any subject and his total inability to keep it to himself.
What should you do if a comet falls on you at 1000 mph?
What are the best pick-up lines for the man or woman looking for romance?
Why doesn't Julia Roberts shave her underarms?
All this and many other bits of useless information will have Canadians from coast to coast chuckling out loud, popping their eyes in wonder and simply scratching their heads in bewilderment.
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Person
Jim Foster is a humour columnist for the Orillia Packet and Times, the Owen Sound Sun Times, the Midland Free Press and the Collingwood Enterprise-Bulletin. He is a contributing writer for Dave Broadfoot's Comedy Crusade and TV Specials. He is a gag writer for Playboy magazine, a reader at the Stephen Leacock Museum and a popular public speaker in Central Ontario.
Content
- Intro
- Title
- Copyright
- Table of Contents
- Prologue
- MacFraser-Shakespeare for the couch potato
- Shakespeare-a one-man job creation marvel
- "Snoop" Foster puts literary world in a dither
- Great Watsons of the world overlooked
- Pilgrims, natives dine light and watch the game
- Getting ready for the Great Beyond
- A Canadian heroine heads for the States
- This prognosticator's vision slightly askew
- History may just be guys one-upping each other
- Everyone wants to spice up his or her love life
- For 4,500 bucks I'll find you a man
- Even animals invited to Céline's wedding
- Wife will indicate when the "zing" is gone
- Read between the signs and lines of love
- Little Jimmy will guide you to wedded bliss
- Wedding smarts-a contradiction in terms
- Hair today-gone tomorrow
- Skateboarding for seniors
- Skinny-dippin' in the big city
- Carbohydrate overloading
- Skinny Svend doesn't represent me
- An easy guide to doctors' salaries
- What's that ringing sound?
- Hillbillies embrace the new technology
- Running the bulls-beef for boneheads
- A country bumpkin in the big city
- Thank heavens your face cleared up
- Composting for dummies-a user's guide
- The right to know and other excuses for nosiness
- Please stoop and scoop the elephant poop
- How to get ahead
- 6,500 bucks? That ain't chicken feed
- Shaken, not stirred
- The metric system and other dumb ideas
- Live on "Meet Boola Boola"
- Spook show scares the wits out of all us kids
- Wayne and I make far too much money
- Fighting in our underwear
- What else was going on in the jungle?
- It's been a bad year for Babs Streisand
- Cow cream touted as udderly miraculous
- The B. B. & B. Boutique faces bankruptcy
- Last year's wieners, a jug of wine, and thou
- Chaos theory might explain our weather
- Flyaway hair? Flyaway weight is my problem
- Look for Jimmy's Secrets on a runway near you
- Plumbing the reader exchange for helpful hints
- People taking charge of their own surgery
- Bathroom afflictions begging for a name
- Canadians forced to weather a bizarre spring
- Pesky varmints are driving Foster batty
- Chicken hatched whole new menu for man
- New light shed on Einstein's calculations
- This piece of modern art is a real bummer
- School buses, Snowbirds could finish off Yanks
- Streaking makes a comeback-finally
- Fire up the Kunikovs and really take off
- All the fun falls out of raking leaves
- A simpleton's guide to exercising one's franchise
- Meteor falling on Earth is so annoying
- Americans don't give a hoot about election
- It's High Noon starring Joe Clark
- Mating habits of Brazilians fascinating
- This fellow really does have to get a life
- Cheap but tasteful gift will enchant ladies
- Christmas gift ideas for your little Dickens
- God save everyone from Ebenezer Scrooge
