The Mourning Handbook
The Most Comprehensive Resource Offering Practical and Compassionate Advice on Coping with All Aspects of Death and Dying
1st Edition
Published on 1. October 2013
320 pages
978-1-4767-6448-1 (ISBN)
Description
Helen Fitzgerald, author of The Grieving Child, has compiled a guide to help readers practically and emotionally grieve the death of loved ones.
No one should be left to grieve alone. Even with the help of friends and family, grieving the death of a loved one can be a complex, sometimes overwhelming, process. The Mourning Handbook is written as a companion to those mourners in need of practical and emotional assistance during the trying times before and after the death of a loved one.
Having counseled thousands of people who have experienced loss, Helen Fitzgerald gives special attention to the complex emotions that can accompany especially traumatic situations, such as when a loved one has been murdered, when there have been multiple deaths, when a body has not been recovered, or when the mourner has been the inadvertent cause of death.
Designed to conform to the special needs of the bereaved, The Mourning Handbook is written and organized in an accessible style punctuated by real stories of people who have experienced every kind of loss. With many subchapters and cross references, it can be consulted for a specific problem or read at length.
No one should be left to grieve alone. Even with the help of friends and family, grieving the death of a loved one can be a complex, sometimes overwhelming, process. The Mourning Handbook is written as a companion to those mourners in need of practical and emotional assistance during the trying times before and after the death of a loved one.
Having counseled thousands of people who have experienced loss, Helen Fitzgerald gives special attention to the complex emotions that can accompany especially traumatic situations, such as when a loved one has been murdered, when there have been multiple deaths, when a body has not been recovered, or when the mourner has been the inadvertent cause of death.
Designed to conform to the special needs of the bereaved, The Mourning Handbook is written and organized in an accessible style punctuated by real stories of people who have experienced every kind of loss. With many subchapters and cross references, it can be consulted for a specific problem or read at length.
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Helen Fitzgerald
The Mourning Handbook
The Most Comprehensive Resource Offering Practical and Compassionate Advice on Coping with All Aspects of Death and Dying
Book
08/1995
Prentice Hall & IBD
€17.50
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Person
Helen Fitzgerald is the author of The Grieving Child: A Parent's Guide. She is the coordinator of the first grief program in the nation established in a community mental health center (The Mt. Vernon Center for Community Mental Health in Springfield, Virginia). A certified death educator, Fitzgerald devoted herself to the field after the death of her husband left her a widow with four children. She lectures across the country on the subject. The success of her program has led to the creation of similar programs nationally. She lives in Fairfax, Virginia.
Content
Contents
Foreword
Before you Begin This Book
Introduction
Chapter 1 FACTS ABOUT GRIEF
1.1 Definitions
Grief
Mourning
1.2 When Does Grief Begin?
1.3 How Long Does Grief Last?
Age of the Deceased
Cause of Death
Nature of Relationship
Other Events in One's Life
Support Systems
Resources One Can Command
One's Coping Skills
Sexual Differences
1.4 Does Grief End?
1.5 Why Must You Express Your Grief?.
Understanding the Grief Process
Chapter 2 PREPARING FOR A DEATH
2.1 The Diagnosis
Only the Beginning
2.2 Visiting the Dying
2.3 Anticipatory Grief
How Anticipatory Grief Can Be Helpful
When Is Anticipatory Grief Not Helpful?
2.4 When Death Comes
When Death Occurs in a Hospital
When Death Occurs at Home
Chapter 3 FUNERAL PREPARATIONS
3.1 Why Have a Funeral?
3.2 Planning the Funeral
When Cost Is a Factor
Making the Funeral Meaningful
3.3 Selecting a Cemetery
3.4 Burial
What Happens to the Body After Burial?
Visiting the Grave
How Often Should You Visit the Grave?
Thoughts Pertaining to the Headstone
3.5 Cremation
3.6 Memorial Services
3.7 Cenotaphs
3.8 Disposing of Personal Belongings
Chapter 4 MOURNING YOUR LOSS
4.1 Grief Is Unlike Other Life Experiences
4.2 Disbelief and Shock
Some Ideas on How to Help Yourself
4.3 Denial
Some Questions to Ask Yourself
Ways That People Avoid Reality
How to Help Yourself Deal with Denial
When to Consult with a Professional
4.4 Rage and Anger
Anger Is a Powerful Emotion
Does One Have to Express Anger?
Know Your Anger History
When Do You Know You Are Getting Angry?
Prioritizing the Things That Make You Angry
When to Seek Professional Help
4.5 Guilt or Regrets
How to Help Yourself
When to Seek Professional Help
4.6 Depression
Know Your Own Symptoms of Depression
When to Seek Professional Help
4.7 Fears
How to Help Yourself
When to Be Concerned
4.8 Panic
How to Help Yourself
4.9 Physical Illness and Symptoms
How to Help Yourself
When to Be Concerned
Chapter 5 CONTINUING REMINDERS OF YOUR LOSS
5.1 Public Holidays
Christmas
Other Religious Holidays
Secular Holidays
5.2 Special Family Occasions
5.3 Anniversaries
Birthdays
Wedding Anniversaries
Special Anniversaries
The First-Year Anniversary of the Death
5.4 Dreams, Nightmares, and "Visions"
5.5 Visiting the Cemetery
When to Be Concerned
5.6 Revisiting Favorite Places
5.7 Unexpected Reminders
Chapter 6 DIFFERENCES THAT MATTER
6.1 Old Age
6.2 Long-term Illness
Suggestions for Those Dealing with AIDS
6.3 Sudden Death
6.4 Suicide
6.5 Murder
6.6 Extended Family
6.7 Grandparent
6.8 Friend
6.9 Pet
6.10 Sibling
6.11 Parent
As an Adult
As a Child
6.12 Love Relationship
6.13 Spouse
The Loneliness of Widowhood
6.14 Child
Abortion
Grief as Part of Your Life
Chapter 7 COMPLICATED GRIEF
7.1 Other Changes in Your Life
Delayed Grief
7.2 Unusual Circumstances
7.3 Unintentional Acts and Far-Reaching Consequences
7.4 Multiple Deaths
7.5 Sudden Illness and Death
7.6 Violent Death
Accidental Death
Suicide
Murder
7.7 Questionable Deaths
7.8 Shock of Discovery
7.9 Hearing the Death News
7.10 Witnessing a Death
7.11 Notoriety
7.12 When the Body Is Not Presentable
7.13 When There Is No Body
7.14 Secrets Discovered After Death
7.15 "Unacceptable" Relationships
7.16 Dependent Relationships
Spouse
Adult Child
7.17 Conflicted Relationships
7.18 Unfinished Business
7.19 Substance Abuse
7.20 Replacement Child
7.21 Unusual Developments
7.22 Missing Persons
7.23 How to Help Yourself
When to Be Concerned
Chapter 8 UNRESOLVED CHILDHOOD GRIEF AND TRAUMA
8.1 What Is Unresolved Childhood Grief?
8.2 No Detour Too Long to Avoid a Cemetery
8.3 Ten Years of Not Talking About It
8.4 The Girl Whose Father Killed Himself
8.5 A Not-So-Funny Joke
8.6 Problems in the Making
8.7 What Is Death-Related Trauma?
8.8 Why Review Such Painful Memories?
8.9 Where Do You Start?
Gathering Information
8.10 Finding the Source of Your Grief
Early Death Experience
8.11 Other Things to Look For
8.12 Restarting the Grief Process
Recording Your Recollections
Books
Healing Old Wounds
Writing
Letter Writing
Drawing
Funeral Home and Cemetery Visits
Symbolic Burial
When to Be Concerned
Chapter 9 THE ROAD TO RECOVERY
9.1 Helping Yourself Through Your Grief
Diet
Exercise
Rest
9.2 You Know You Are Getting Better When...
9.3 New Relationships
When Do You Know You Are Ready?
Where to Start
On Dating
On Children and Dating
How to Help Your Children
On Sexuality
On AIDS
When a Relationship Breaks Up
On Remarriage
Chapter 10 A FRIEND IN NEED
10.1 Preparing Yourself
10.2 When Death Occurs
10.3 Funeral Arrangements
10.4 Funerals
10.5 Emotional Help
Taking Care of Yourself
10.6 Things to Avoid
10.7 Long-Term Help
10.8 Writing a Letter of Condolence
10.9 Delivering Death News
By Telephone
In Person
Looking Out for Yourself
Epilogue
Bibliography
General Grief
Widowhood
Suicide
Parent Grief
Parent Death for Adult Child
Children
For the Family When a Member is Seriously Ill
For Family and Friends
The Death of a Pet
Dealing with Anger
For the Professional
Resources
Finding Professional Help
Support Groups
Death of a Child
Suicide
Death of a Spouse
Death by Murder
Death of a Pet
Illness with Cancer
Index
