Standing Beside them

Nobody hands you a manual when you become a caregiver.

One day you are a spouse, a son, a daughter, a friend. And then, gradually or suddenly, you are also the person making sure someone you love is safe, bathed, fed, and cared for. You are managing medications, doctor's appointments, and behavioral challenges nobody prepared you for. You are grieving someone who is still alive. And somewhere underneath all of it, you are trying to keep your own life from falling apart.

Standing Beside Them is a practical guide for every person providing care to someone living with dementia. Written by Dr. Patricia A. Farrell, a licensed clinical psychologist with decades of experience working with caregivers and families, this book gives you the tools, strategies, and permission to care for both your loved one and yourself.

Inside, you will find:

• Why understanding dementia at a neurological level transforms how you respond to difficult behaviors

• Communication strategies that actually work at every stage of the disease, including validation therapy and practical language tools

• Step-by-step guidance on daily care: bathing, dressing, medications, meals, sleep, and incontinence, all approached with dignity

• A deep dive into the hardest behavioral symptoms: paranoia, agitation, wandering, sundowning, and repetitive questioning, with specific strategies for each

• An honest reckoning with caregiver burnout: what it looks like, how to prevent it, and what to do when it has already arrived

• A comprehensive guide to respite care, community resources, and how to access funding that most caregivers don't know about

• Clear navigation of the legal, financial, and insurance landscape of dementia care

• Guidance on when home care is no longer enough and how to evaluate and choose a memory care facility

• Tools for managing difficult family dynamics when the caregiving burden is unequal

• A compassionate exploration of anticipatory grief and ambiguous loss: the grief of losing someone who is still here

• Support for the transition after caregiving ends, including bereavement, identity rebuilding, and finding meaning in what you did

Every chapter closes with a summary and three things you can do right now, because in caregiving, a clear next step is more valuable than more information without one.

You are doing extraordinary work. This book was written to help you do it better, and to remind you that your own needs are not an afterthought. They are the foundation.