Cleopatra's Confessions
A Feline Guide to Coping with Dogs, Humans, and Other Pointless Interruptions to a Good Nap
Published on 27. January 2015
304 pages
978-1-62914-905-9 (ISBN)
Description
Humans have a purpose in this world: providing high-quality cat food, both wet and dry, also the Minimum Daily Cat Requirement of petting(not less than two hours),and most important, making available a good Sleep Environment for a cat. This must include comfortable chairs, couches, beds, countertops and a variety of floor surfaces: bare wood, a cool cement area, linoleum, and carpeting. Carpeting is required not only as an Essential Sleep Option, but also for puking on. Never puke on anything not covered by carpeting.
Dogs, on the other hand, serve no useful purpose. All they can do is disturb and disrupt, specifically disturb and disrupt cat sleeping activity. Fortunately, dogs can be trained. It's a nuisance, but it can be done.
This book contains detailed tips on training your dog, but for starters, know that a couple of quick scratches to your dog's snout will have a very positive effect.
Dogs, on the other hand, serve no useful purpose. All they can do is disturb and disrupt, specifically disturb and disrupt cat sleeping activity. Fortunately, dogs can be trained. It's a nuisance, but it can be done.
This book contains detailed tips on training your dog, but for starters, know that a couple of quick scratches to your dog's snout will have a very positive effect.
More details
Other editions
Additional editions
Cleopatra J. Cat | Larry Arnstein | Zack Arnstein
Cleopatra's Confessions
A Feline Guide to Coping with Dogs, Humans, and Other Pointless Interruptions to a Good Nap
Book
02/2015
Skyhorse Publishing
€19.00
Shipment within 3-4 weeks
Person
Cleopatra H. Cat: Cleopatra H. Cat is the first three-time winner of the International Feline Sleeping Prize. She has also won numerous other sleeping awards, and is a recognized authority on napping.
Content
- Intro
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Autobiographical Note
- Contents
- Introduction
- Chapter 1 Basic Sleeping
- Chapter 2 Dogs: Why?
- Chapter 3 A Personal Confession
- Chapter 4 Indoor or Outdoor Cat? (How Dare You?)
- Chapter 5 Setting Minimum Allowable Petting Time for your Humans: Always Err on the High Side
- Chapter 6 Maintaining Maximum Paw Sharpness: Sorry About the Lace Curtains, but this is a Survival Issue
- Chapter 7 Girl Talk: Ten Tips to Tantalize a Tomcat
- Chapter 8 Useful Lies: You Can't Train a Cat
- Chapter 9 Our African Cousins: Cheetahs, Leopards, Lions, Tigers: We are all Cats, we Have the Same Instincts, Turn Your Back on us at Your Own Risk, Friend
- Chapter 10 Grooming: Not as Important as Sleeping, But Then, Nothing is as Important as Sleeping
- Chapter 11 Holidays
- Chapter 12 Cat Mummies of Ancient Egypt: it Was the Least they Could Do
- Chapter 13 Cat Gods: Fabulous Feline Fotos you Can Worship Today!
- Chapter 14 Humans: Smarter Than Birds, not as Smart as Dolphins
- Chapter 14A More Thoughts on how Graceful we are and how Bungling the Humans Are
- Chapter 14B Communicating With Humans
- Chapter 15 Intermediate Sleeping
- Chapter 16 Puking: Where, Why, When, and How
- Chapter 17 Nap Time
- Chapter 18 Exposing the International Dog Conspiracy
- Chapter 19 Cats in the Media
- Chapter 20 More Cats in the News
- Chapter 20A The Illustrative Cases of Blackie and Tinker
- Chapter 20B Cats Saving Humans
- Chapter 21A Troubleshooting Cat Downers
- Chapter 22 Cat Parenting: Do's and Don'ts
- Chapter 23 Cat Altruism
- Chapter 24 Instinct: Hunting, Killing, and Other Fun Stuff
- Chapter 25 The Conscience of a Cat
- Chapter 26 The International Association of Cats
- Chapter 26A The International Cat Union
- Chapter 27 Cat Sports
- Chapter 28 Cat Therapy
- Chapter 29 Cat Religion
- Chapter 30 Cat Art
- Chapter 31 Anger Management for Cats
- Chapter 32 Cat Music
- Chapter 33 A Tribute to Mice
- Chapter 34 The cat Defense Lawyer
- Chapter 35 Bushes and Trees: Excellent for Lurking
- Chapter 36 The Rules for Cats
- Chapter 37 Cat Intelligence
- Chapter 38 Cute Cat Videos we Won't be Mentioning in this Book
- Chapter 39 A Whole Chapter on Water (As Opposed to the Note)
- Chapter 39A Helping Out Around the House
- Chapter 40 Cat Philosophy
- Chapter 41 Facecat
- Chapter 42 Bonding with Your Humans
- Chapter 43 Best Supporting cat Oscar
- Chapter 44 Rubbing up Against Thingss
- Chapter 45 Cat Myths
- Chapter 46 Cat Dancing
- Chapter 47 The Cat Bill of Rights
- Chapter 48 The Ten Commandments of Sekhmet
- Chapter 49 Good Reasons to Get Up Real Early, Drink a Bunch of Coffee, and Stay Alert and Productive All Day
- Chapter 50 The Pros and Cons of Lap Napping
- Chapter 51 Putting Cats on Airplanes Versus Genocide - Which is the Worst of the Human Ideas?
- Chapter 52 Cat Yoga Class
- Chapter 53 If Cats Drove Cars
- Chapter 54 The Socatic Method
- Chapter 55 If I Were a Cat Doctor
- Chapter 56 Cat Dignity
- Chapter 57 Cat Etiquette
- Chapter 58 The Vacuum Cleaner Problem
- Chapter 59 Coexisting With Dogs
- Chapter 60 Cat Critics
- Chapter 61 A Plea For Tolerance
- Chapter 62 Cat Anthropology
- Chapter 63 Acceptable Attitudes
- Chapter 64 Unpleasant Truths
- Chapter 65 My School for Dogs
- Chapter 66 Cat Secrets
- Chapter 67 Bedtime Stories: Goodnight, Cat
- Satisfaction Guaranteed or your Money Back
- A Note on the Title of this Book
- Acknowledgments
- Critical Praise for Cleopatra's Confessions from Other Cats
- Critical Praise for the Dogma of Rufus, by Rufus Dog, Typed by the Same Humans who Typed my Book
- Index
