Be a Man About It
Description
'An absolutely fascinating enquiry into the nature of masculinity, coming at a time when it's really needed. Hats off to George Bell.'
Stephen Fry, UK comedian, actor, writer, and presenter
'An essential read for our generation of men, rewriting the rules in a way that's honest, freeing, and makes me excited for our future.'
Tj Power, Sunday Times Bestselling Author & Neuroscientist
'With sensitivity and insight, George offers both personal perspective and practical guidance, making this more than a book; it's a lifeline.'
Alice Hendy MBE, Founder of R;pple
A practical and contemporary discussion of what it means to be a man today
Men are cracking under the immense pressure of culturally created and rigid norms, traditions and beliefs. Be A Man About It: Building a Healthier Idea of Masculinity delivers an insightful and eye-opening new discussion of modern masculinity.
George Bell lays out how a silent pressure cooker is building in men, fuelled by the weight of historical, biological, and societal context. This pressure is reaching breaking point, exploding into challenges men are facing in everyday life. Hidden taboos and stigmas, the things we talk about and the things we don't, the conversations we should be having, but aren't. Addictions, a growing male loneliness epidemic, a resistance to healthcare support, sexual function issues, a growing suicide rate, and more.
But there is an attainable future where we can release this pressure in healthier ways. Bell puts forward ideas for how we can build a more flexible idea of masculinity, celebrate our men and thrive alongside women.
Each section is packed with first-hand insights, modern data and research, and comments from a wide variety of guests and experts, including army veterans, athletes, professors, doctors, authors, artists, first responders and people who have lost others or nearly lost themselves.
Inside the book:
- An examination of how a silent pressure cooker is building in men and reaching devastating breaking points, and how we can release this pressure in healthier ways
- Updated language that avoids the pitfalls of old, unproductive phrases like "be a man about it"
- New ways of thinking about old social constructs that reduce the idea of masculinity to inaccurate, rigid, and oversimplified caricatures
- New strategies to expand our sense of masculinity, and to deal with emotions, setbacks, and difficult life experiences instead of suppressing them
Perfect for men struggling to identify what it means to be a man today, Be A Man About It is a must-read for men feeling lost, out of place or searching for a new blueprint for masculinity, as well as women who wish to better understand the men in their lives and how they experience the world.
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Person
GEORGE BELL is the co-founder of JACK, a men's publication and platform for men's issues and experiences which aren't spoken about enough, but should be. Bell has spent over a decade working in the mental health space, helping to normalise the conversation around mental health.
Content
Introduction xvii
Part One: The Pressure Cooker 1
1. The Biology of Masculinity 3
2. The History of Masculinity 23
3. The Present- Day Cost of Emotional Suppression 33
Summary to Part One 41
Part Two: When the Pressure Breaks 43
4. Breaking Point #1: The Hidden Cost to Health Avoidance 47
5. Breaking Point #2: Addictions 69
6. Breaking Point #3: Disconnection and Displacement 95
7. Breaking Point #4: The Mask of Performance 125
8. Breaking Point #5: The Shame We Carry 153
9. Breaking Point #6: The Wounds That Don't Heal 179
Summary to Part Two 203
Part Three: Releasing the Pressure 205
10. Release Point #1: Building Better Connections 207
11. Release Point #2: Bridging the Gender Divide 229
12. Release Point #3: A New Space for Masculinity 247
13. Release Point #4: Reprogramming the Feed 267
14. Release Point #5: Talking and Healing 283
Summary to Part Three 297
Conclusion 299
References 303
Signposting 313
Acknowledgements 315
Contributors 319
About the Author 321
Index 323
Praise for Be a Man About It
'An absolutely fascinating enquiry into the nature of masculinity, coming at a time when it's really needed. Hats off to George Bell'.
-Stephen Fry
UK comedian, actor, writer, and presenter
'An essential read for our generation of men, rewriting the rules in a way that's honest, freeing, and makes me excited for our future'.
-Tj Power
Sunday Times bestselling author of The DOSE Effect, and neuroscientist
'Powerful. Moving. Necessary.
George Bell's book about being a man, manhood, and masculinity is a much-needed and precious resource.
Working on the front line and in the trenches of mental health care services, including within the National Health Service (NHS), as a consultant psychiatrist, I have seen time and time again how toxic constructs of masculinity contribute to the epidemic of suicidal behaviours in boys and men.
It is difficult not to be deeply touched by George's compassion, intellect, and wisdom that permeate throughout this book. Be a Man About It tackles a taboo topic with delicacy and panache and provides a blueprint for boys and men in particular to navigate the precarious territory of masculinity - a landscape fraught with peril, challenges, obstacles, and barriers.
This is such an important contribution to the literature, helping to fill a void that has existed for far too long'.
-Dr Ahmed Hankir
MBChB, MRCPsych, consultant psychiatrist, author of Breakthrough: A Story of Hope, Resilience, and Mental Health Recovery, World Health Organization award-winning doctor
'Be a Man About It isn't some macho pep talk or a pity parade, it's a deeply human look at what happens when men are taught to bury everything. If you've ever felt like you're quietly falling apart, start here'.
-Gavin Oattes
International keynote speaker and bestselling author
'Be a Man About It is a powerful reminder that vulnerability is strength, not a weakness. A guide for men - and those who care about them'.
-Dwain Chambers
British athlete
'A soaring assessment of the state of modern masculinity which helps us understand why we are where we are today, before grounding us again with the seeds to cultivate an improved masculinity that works for boys and men from now and into the future'.
-Dr Naveen Puri
Medical Director, Bupa UK Insurance
'With sensitivity and insight, George offers both personal perspective and practical guidance, making this a vital resource for anyone navigating mental health challenges - whether their own or someone else's. This is more than a book; it's a lifeline'.
-Alice Hendy MBE
Founder of R;pple Suicide Prevention Charity
'This brilliant book offers a refreshing and accessible exploration of masculinity. Its breadth draws you in with ease and makes it a must read for everyone, because conversations about masculinity touch us all'.
-Amelia Wrighton
Co-founder and CEO of Suicide&Co
'Be a Man About It is an honest, powerful, and much-needed book that lifts the lid on the pressures and challenges men face today. I found myself relating to so many of the real-life experiences shared, and I was equally encouraged by the science and expert insight that back them up. It doesn't shy away from difficult or taboo subjects - subjects that desperately need to be spoken about. This is not just a book for men who might be struggling, lonely, or feeling lost, but also for women who want to better understand the men in their lives. Direct, raw, and deeply human, this book is a must-read'.
-Andrew Jenkins
Finalist of the BBC's The Traitors, and motivational speaker
'A beautiful weaving of research, biology, experts, and personal experience on how you, as a man, can live a happier, healthier, and more productive life in all of the areas that matter to you. But unlike many books about men, George offers a clear path forward not just for men, but for society as a whole'.
-David Chambers
Men's dating and relationship coach
'This book is well written and highly readable. It deals with a much-needed subject - masculinity - and how men perceive themselves as men. It rightly redefines masculinity as being vulnerable about one's physical and mental health, being open and transparent in conversations about potentially sensitive health issues, and asking for help when needed rather than burying their heads in the sand. I would recommend this book to all men, especially those that find it difficult to show vulnerability in their emotions and in talking about problems with their physical, mental, and sexual health'.
-Dr Prasanna Sooriakumaran
Professor of Urology and a lead clinical advisor in men's health
'A powerful and emotive read that will break down so many barriers that men place around their and others' mental health and well-being. George Bell has written a narrative with compassion and an openness, a style that will offer hope and courage to so many. This book will give men validation, relief, and encouragement to challenge the current theme of "say nothing". A book of hope that will simply save lives'.
-Gary Hayes
Ex-military and police, Anti-Terrorism Unit
'I hope one day to walk into a bookshop and see a "masculinity" section. This book would be in it, with I hope many more to come. This is much-needed writing about the male experience and we need a lot more of it. Chapeau to George and the men who've shared their stories with him'.
-James Routledge
Author of Mental Health at Work
'This should be required reading for every man. Be a Man About It isn't just another book on masculinity, it's a clear and compassionate roadmap toward healthier men, stronger relationships, and a better world'.
-Jeremy Lipkowitz
Men's porn addiction coach
'Masculinity is a tough topic to tackle right now, and George has done an incredible job of balancing statistics, respecting other groups, and showing real care with the information he shares. Highly recommend for everyone'.
-Katie Maycock
Wellbeing consultant and burnout coach
'This book is powerful, honest, and long overdue. It tackles the real, often unspoken pressures men face and offers a new, healthier framework for masculinity. It's not about blaming or shaming, it's about understanding, and redefining what it truly means to be a man in today's world. Every man (and everyone who loves one) should read this'.
-Mark Ormrod MBE
Royal Marines veteran, author, speaker, and resilience coach
'In this wonderful book you will find great wisdom in not only the challenges of manhood but the challenges of how not to be shaped into clones of other people's definitions of manhood. As Bell guides us, when we choose to discover ourselves, what it is to have a "male mind" and its challenges we discover the courage and wisdom to recognise that at the heart of all of us is the desire to feel connected, cared for and caring, to live this short and turbulent life, to be helpful not harmful to make a difference in the world for the better'.
-Paul Gilbert OBE
Psychologist and founder of Compassion Focused Therapy
'A must read for anyone interested in men's health. George's insights are refreshingly honest with practical solutions, offering a much-needed challenge to the modern concept of masculinity'.
-Dr Ravi Lukha
Medical Director, Bupa UK Insurance
'Be a Man About It is a powerful read that tackles head-on the pressures men face today. Bell challenges outdated stereotypes and offers a fresh, compassionate vision of masculinity - one that embraces openness, emotional honesty, and connection. This book is a call to action to rethink what it means to be a man and to create a culture where everyone can truly thrive'.
-Professor Rory O'Connor
Professor of Health Psychology and Director of Suicidal Behaviour Research Laboratory at the University of Glasgow
'Required reading for all young men unsure of their place in the world. It is the book I wish I had when I was struggling'.
-Ryan Hopkins
Author of 52 Weeks of Wellbeing
'This book manages to be both insightful and very readable and, most important, puts forward some solutions we can all engage with. I wholeheartedly recommend it'.
-Dr Tim Woodman
Medical Director, Policy and Cancer Services, Bupa UKI
'A must-read dive into the pressures and complexities that men face today, and a showcase that the term masculinity isn't binary'.
-Tommy Hatto
Actor, model, and speaker
'George brings such genuine warmth and thoughtful curiosity to the exploration of...
