Insecure in Love
Description
Has your romantic partner called you clingy, insecure, desperate, or jealous? No one wants to admit that they possess these qualities; but if you find yourself constantly on the alert, anxious, or worried when it comes to your significant other, you may suffer from anxious attachment, a fear of abandonment that is often rooted in early childhood experiences.
In Insecure in Love, you''ll learn how to overcome attachment anxiety using compassionate self-awareness, a technique that can help you recognize your negative thoughts or unhealthy behavior patterns and respond to them in a nurturing way-rather than beating yourself up. You'll also learn how insecurity can negatively affect healthy dialog between you and your partner (or potential partners) and develop the skills needed to stop you from reverting back to old patterns of neediness and possessiveness.If you suffer from anxious attachment, you probably know that you need to change, and yet you have remained stuck. With compassionate self-awareness, you can successfully explore old anxiety-perpetuating perceptions and habits without being overwhelmed or paralyzed by them. By understanding the psychological factors at the root of your attachment anxiety, you will learn to cultivate secure, healthy relationships to last a lifetime.
If you're ready to stop getting stuck in the same hurtful relationship patterns and finally break the cycle of heartache, this book can show you how to get the love you deserve-and keep it!More details
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Content
- Intro
- Acknowledgments
- Introduction
- PART ONE
- The Bedrock of All Relationships
- Chapter 1
- Early Connections: A Foundation for Love
- The Basics of How You Connect
- Four Styles of Attachment
- Discovering Your Attachment Style
- Chapter 2
- Understanding Why You Relate the Way You Do
- Proximity: Protection from Danger
- Safe Haven: The Need for Comfort
- Secure Base: Support for Exploring the World
- Balancing Autonomy and Closeness
- Managing Your Emotions
- Two Ways to Earn Security and Happy Relationships
- PART TWO
- Discover Your Potential: Being Worthy of Love
- Chapter 3
- Opening the Door to Change
- Learning to See Yourself in a Positive Light
- Confirming the "You" You Know
- Confirming How You See Others
- Closed-Loop Relationships
- Pursuit-Withdrawal: A Common Relationship Problem
- Summary: Gaining Perspective
- Chapter 4
- Overcoming Obstacles
- Self-Deception
- The Logic Stops Here
- How Pain Motivates Change
- The Need for New Experiences
- PART THREE
- Compassionate Self-Awareness: The Antidote to Relationship Anxiety
- Chapter 5
- A Path to Deep, Lasting Security
- Self-Awareness
- Self-Compassion
- The Healing Power of Compassionate Self-Awareness
- Chapter 6
- Developing Self-Awareness
- Facing Your Ambivalence
- Nurturing Awareness of Emotions
- Transforming Your Thoughts with Greater Awareness
- Mentalizing
- Final Thoughts on Self-Awareness
- Chapter 7
- Creating Self-Compassion
- Common Humanity
- Mindfulness
- Self-Kindness
- Compassionate Self-Awareness in a Nutshell
- PART FOUR
- Lighting Up Your Love Life
- Chapter 8
- Finding Someone Who Will Accept You and Warm Your Heart
- Set a Goal for a Healthy Relationship
- What to Look for in a Partner
- Panning for Gold
- Spin a Supportive Web
- Chapter 9
- Nurturing a Relationship You Feel Secure In
- Self-Disclosure
- Interdependence: Being One "Whole Half"
- Keeping Your Connection Going
- Accentuate the Positive
- On Being Grateful
- It Takes Work to Tango
- Chapter 10
- Working It Out
- Asking for Support
- Talking Through Conflicts
- The Gift of Forgiveness
- Moving On
- Closing Thoughts
- References
