You Don't Really Know Me
Description
Understand what your teenage daughter really means—and learn to use your arguments to strengthen your bond with her.
Mothers and teenage daughters argue more than any other child-parent pair—on average every two-and-a-half days. These quarrels, Terri Apter shows, are attempts to negotiate changes in a relationship that is valued by both mothers and daughters. A daughter often feels her mother doesn't know or understand her, and by fighting hopes to force her mother into a new awareness of who she really is, how she has changed, and what she is now capable of doing and understanding. But mothers often misinterpret their daughter's outbursts as signs of rejection, and they may pull back feeling hurt and confused. Through case studies and conversations between mothers and daughters, Apter shows mothers how to interpret the meanings behind a daughter's angry words and how to emerge from arguments with a new closeness.
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Content
- Cover
- Title
- Contents
- Introduction: Love, Conflict, and Growth
- Chapter 1: The Mother/Daughter Plot
- Chapter 2: "You're not listening!": The Battle for Recognition
- Chapter 3: "Let me live my own life!": Why Teenage Girls Are Insulted by Parental Concern
- Chapter 4: "She can pick an argument out of thin air!": What Lies Behind Teenage Irritability
- Chapter 5: Power Struggle: The Choreography of Status
- Chapter 6: Portraits of Mother/Daughter Meltdown
- Chapter 7: Learning to Fight: Friendship and Conflict
- Chapter 8: My Mother, My Father: Two Different Relationships
- Chapter 9: "I'm too fat!": The Ambiguity of Physical Growth
- Chapter 10: "I know that already!": Sex Talk
- Chapter 11: "So that's how you feel!": How Conflict Can Lead to Closeness
- Chapter 12: The Lifelong Dialogue
- Acknowledgments
- Notes
- Bibliography
- Index
- Also by Terri Apter
- Copyright
