
How to Stop Trying
An Overachiever's Guide to Self-Acceptance, Letting Go, and Other Impossible Things
Kate Williams(Author)
Flatiron Books (Publisher)
Published on 17. March 2025
Book
Hardback
272 pages
978-1-250-34090-0 (ISBN)
Description
Have you ever heard someone say, "I'm trying to make it work," and thought, "That sounds like a great idea"? Probably not. Because the thing about trying is that it's tiring; it's labor. Anyone who has tried to have fun or to relax or to fall asleep knows this to be true.
And yet: we exist within a culture that encourages us - often with a frantic urgency - to try, and try harder. We are told to try a different approach, try to do or be better, try to squeeze in a little bit more. This is especially true of women, who not only have to try harder than men to receive access to the same opportunities and resources, but who are also conditioned to try in the name of meeting others' needs and expectations, often at the expense of their own well-being.
In this galvanising and illuminating read, Kate tackles hustle culture head-on, exploring the ways in which women are primed to become relentless strivers. From the workplace to motherhood, from relationships to "self-care" - no arena of a woman's life is safe from the pressure to exceed expectations. This conflation of self-worth with achievement, she argues, is both toxic and counterproductive, as the qualities we most seek - happiness, meaning, purpose - are not earned but rather owned.
Known for her astute cultural analysis and pitch-perfect observations of generational trends, Williams takes readers on a journey rooted in her own struggle to divest from an overachieving identity, including the realizations that came in the wake of a painful fertility challenge. Deeply felt, passionately argued, and often laugh-out-loud funny, this is a book for every woman who has ever wondered what would happen if she stopped trying so hard - and just let go.
And yet: we exist within a culture that encourages us - often with a frantic urgency - to try, and try harder. We are told to try a different approach, try to do or be better, try to squeeze in a little bit more. This is especially true of women, who not only have to try harder than men to receive access to the same opportunities and resources, but who are also conditioned to try in the name of meeting others' needs and expectations, often at the expense of their own well-being.
In this galvanising and illuminating read, Kate tackles hustle culture head-on, exploring the ways in which women are primed to become relentless strivers. From the workplace to motherhood, from relationships to "self-care" - no arena of a woman's life is safe from the pressure to exceed expectations. This conflation of self-worth with achievement, she argues, is both toxic and counterproductive, as the qualities we most seek - happiness, meaning, purpose - are not earned but rather owned.
Known for her astute cultural analysis and pitch-perfect observations of generational trends, Williams takes readers on a journey rooted in her own struggle to divest from an overachieving identity, including the realizations that came in the wake of a painful fertility challenge. Deeply felt, passionately argued, and often laugh-out-loud funny, this is a book for every woman who has ever wondered what would happen if she stopped trying so hard - and just let go.
More details
Language
English
Place of publication
New York
United States
Product notice
sewn/stitched
Cloth over boards
With dust jacket
Dimensions
Height: 215 mm
Width: 143 mm
Thickness: 25 mm
Weight
345 gr
ISBN-13
978-1-250-34090-0 (9781250340900)
Copyright in bibliographic data and cover images is held by Nielsen Book Services Limited or by the publishers or by their respective licensors: all rights reserved.
Schweitzer Classification
Other editions
Additional editions

Kate Williams
How to Stop Trying
An Overachiever's Guide to Self-Acceptance, Letting Go, and Other Impossible Things
E-Book
03/2025
Flatiron Books
€12.99
Available for download
Person
Kate Williams is a women's magazine veteran who has written for Shape, Nylon, Elle, Cosmopolitan, Women's Health, and Seventeen, among others, and also spent years in the fashion industry, working for brands such as Urban Outfitters, Calvin Klein, and Sophia Amoruso's Nasty Gal during the publication of the era-defining #GIRLBOSS. A New York Times bestselling ghostwriter, she has written seven uncredited books in addition to four young adult novels: the Babysitters Coven trilogy-which was optioned by Nickelodeon-and the thriller Never Coming Home. How to Stop Trying is her first work of nonfiction.