How To Raise A Jewish Dog
Published on 13. February 2014
Book
Paperback/Softback
176 pages
978-1-78022-736-8 (ISBN)
Description
You don't have to own a dog and you don't have to be Jewish... A humour title about using guilt, shame and passive aggression to raise your dog that will have you barking with laughter.
A 'Not Missing Yet' sign informs neighbours that dog is not missing. Some trainers call this precaution unnecessary. We say: It couldn't hurt.
Finally! The dog training techniques and tips developed by the renowned Rabbis of the Boca Raton Theological Seminary are available in book form. Look out, monks. Step aside, whisperer. Rabbi Monica and Rabbi Alan show, step by step, how you can use guilt, shame, passive aggression, sarcasm and Conditional Unconditional Love to create an unbreakable bond with your dog. It's all here, including:
- The five ways of commanding 'Sit!' ('What, would it kill you to sit down for one lousy second?')
- A useful list of Advanced Commands ('Don't stare at Cousin Edith's hair when she comes over.')
- How to use Situational Martyrdom when the dog disobeys ('Fine. Do what you want. I hope you have a nice life.')
The rabbis have been training dogs - and their owners - for 20 years. Now they bring the fruits of their vast experience to dog owners everywhere. And the best part? You don't have to be Jewish to benefit from the programme. Just neurotic. Or crazy about your dog.
A 'Not Missing Yet' sign informs neighbours that dog is not missing. Some trainers call this precaution unnecessary. We say: It couldn't hurt.
Finally! The dog training techniques and tips developed by the renowned Rabbis of the Boca Raton Theological Seminary are available in book form. Look out, monks. Step aside, whisperer. Rabbi Monica and Rabbi Alan show, step by step, how you can use guilt, shame, passive aggression, sarcasm and Conditional Unconditional Love to create an unbreakable bond with your dog. It's all here, including:
- The five ways of commanding 'Sit!' ('What, would it kill you to sit down for one lousy second?')
- A useful list of Advanced Commands ('Don't stare at Cousin Edith's hair when she comes over.')
- How to use Situational Martyrdom when the dog disobeys ('Fine. Do what you want. I hope you have a nice life.')
The rabbis have been training dogs - and their owners - for 20 years. Now they bring the fruits of their vast experience to dog owners everywhere. And the best part? You don't have to be Jewish to benefit from the programme. Just neurotic. Or crazy about your dog.
Reviews / Votes
Neither you nor your dog actually have to be Jewish to enjoy this ludicrous but extremely funny spoof pooch manual filled with dire jokes that would make even Woody Allen cringe. From how to find a vet who will be sufficiently responsive to your Jewish dog's high emotional neediness to buying it muffins at the airport to disguise the tranquilisers you're going to give it for travelling, it made me shake with laughter again and again; not to mention the cover. -- Katie Law * EVENING STANDARD * How to Raise a Jewish Dog is essentially one long joke: bit it's a very funny one! at only 162 pages it doesn't outstay its welcome. The prose is well-written with a great sense of comic timing, which is why it comes recommended. Just remember: if you read it on public transport you're likely to attract attention with your chuckling. * ENTERTAINMENT FOCUS * A dog is not just for Chanucah. So those of you who have recently acquired a pooch will be happy to know that this is now a training manual. -- Simon Rocker * JEWISH CHRONICLE * Neither you nor your dog actually have to be Jewish to enjoy this ludicrous but extremely funny spoof pooch manual filled with dire jokes that would make even Woody Allen cringe. From how to find a vet who will be sufficiently responsive to your Jewish dog's high emotional neediness to buying it muffins at the airport to disguise the tranquilisers you're going to give it for travelling, it made me shake with laughter again and again; not to mention the cover. -- Katie Law * EVENING STANDARD * How to Raise a Jewish Dog is essentially one long joke: bit it's a very funny one! at only 162 pages it doesn't outstay its welcome. The prose is well-written with a great sense of comic timing, which is why it comes recommended. Just remember: if you read it on public transport you're likely to attract attention with your chuckling. * ENTERTAINMENT FOCUS * A dog is not just for Chanucah. So those of you who have recently acquired a pooch will be happy to know that this is now a training manual. -- Simon Rocker * JEWISH CHRONICLE *More details
Language
English
Place of publication
London
United Kingdom
Publishing group
Orion Publishing Co
Product notice
Paperback (UK-B)
Dimensions
Height: 195 mm
Width: 126 mm
Thickness: 17 mm
Weight
170 gr
ISBN-13
978-1-78022-736-8 (9781780227368)
Copyright in bibliographic data and cover images is held by Nielsen Book Services Limited or by the publishers or by their respective licensors: all rights reserved.
Schweitzer Classification
Other editions
Additional editions
The Rabbis of the Boca Raton Theological Seminary | Ellis Weiner | Barbara Davilman
How To Raise A Jewish Dog
E-Book
02/2014
Weidenfeld & Nicolson
€3.99
Available for download
Persons
Co-authors of the bestselling YIDDISH WITH DICK AND JANE and YIDDISH WITH GEORGE AND LAURA, Ellis Weiner has been an editor of NATIONAL LAMPOON, a columnist for SPY, and a contributor to many magazines, including THE NEW YORKER and THE NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE, Barbara Davilman is a writer for television and movies.