The Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations

Dazzlingly entertaining, this new edition of the Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations contains over 5,000 quotations hand-picked by the writer and broadcaster Ned Sherrin. Containing a wide coverage of themes, including forty brand new ones such as Autobiography, Awards and Prizes, Parties, Presidents, Smoking, and Tennis, there is something for everyone on every subject imaginable. From sharp one-liners to witty quips, there are quotations from classic humorists such as Mae West, Oscar Wilde, and Groucho Marx, to today's well known comedians and wits including Dick Vosburgh, Maureen Lipman, Tracey Ullman, Ben Elton, and Ian Hislop. There are of course quotations from famous luminaries from walks of life other than comedy, from Samuel Johnson to Tennessee Williams, and Albert Einstein to the Duke of Wellington. With details of where each quotation comes from, who said it, where and when, an author index allowing you at a glance to establish who said what, and a detailed keyword index, this is not just an ideal reference tool but also an invaluable and classic collection.'
I have a rare intolerance to herbs which means I can only drink fermented liquids, such as gin' Julie Walters 'France is a country where the money falls apart in your hands and you can't tear the toilet paper' Billy Wilder 'People don't come in my size until they're old. I used to think people were born with big bones and large frames, but apparently these grow when you're about sixty-eight' Maeve Binchy 'They say the definition of ambivalence is watching your mother-in-law drive over a cliff in your new Cadillac' David Mamet 'It's amazing what you can do with an E in A-level art, twisted imagination and a chainsaw' Damien Hirst 'I'm President of the United States, and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli!' George Bush