Cat and Mouse

My name is Roxanne Vaughn. Most people just call me Roxy. My parents call me a disappointment. I'm not gonna lie - I hate how much they detest me, but I've learned to embrace their skepticism. What better way to write poetry than to feel like an outcast? Insecure? Ugly? Stupid? Even writing about my failure in pre-med has earned me some notoriety in my creative writing classes. Although, some people believe I should write fiction. I don't know if I could do that. It would probably end up being some distorted version of my own sick reality.

I'm originally from San Diego, the daughter of two well-known doctors, and the younger sister to the prodigal offspring. I moved to Rohnert Park to attend Sonoma State, to escape the pressures associated with living under my parents' roof, and to hopefully create some friendships along the way. I just so happened to meet two extremely different boys - one residing in San Diego, the other in Rohnert Park - on this journey to self-discovery. I just so happened to fall in love with both, but only one holds my heart in the palm of his hands.

I promise you I'm not one of those "typical" party girls. Well, at least I wasn't when I first walked onto the Sonoma State campus. My three best girlfriends converted me to their religion of binge drinking and bad decisions. I guess you could say I live two lives. Three, if you count hiding in my bedroom to avoid the societal pressures suffocating me.

I'm just a normal girl who puts her pants on one leg at a time. Except I'm sleeping with two different men every time I put on my pants.

Life could be worse.

I could be striving to live the life of a penniless poet, bussing tables to afford an education my parents refuse to pay for. I could also be in a relationship built off of a foundation of lies. I'm just a simple twenty-something year old girl looking for her place in life.

Maybe you're in the same position as me. But if you've already figured out who you are - all of that soul searching nonsense - please don't rub it in my face. I'm a poet. I'm a bad daughter. I'm a loyal friend. I'm in love. I'm a mess.

I'm working on it. It's just taking me a little bit longer than expected.