Knocking on

From man-about-Mitcham and leading diarist de nos jours, Simon Crisp: 'It is impossible to exaggerate the gratitude I owe the late Sir Alec Guinness. Had I not happened to meet my diarist hero on a bus in Mitcham Lane, there is every chance my own journal might have lain idle while the great events of history swirled around me, unrecorded. At Sir Alec's urging I took up my pen once more and committed to paper a daily account of dramas, changes of fortune, forays into the cultural and artistic life of the nation, witty apercus and telling insights into la condition humaine in what is (mistakenly) perceived as the first year of the 21st century. And what a year it has been! Forcibly retired and divorced after ten tumultuous years of marriage to Belinda, I had been occupying the guest room in the home of my sister Priscilla ('Piggy') and Chad, her partner both in life and bric-a-brac stall. But mine is a restless spirit, and the opportunity to take up a second career in the media was too good to miss. A weekly column in the Mitcham and Tooting Times was not quite the professional pinnacle I had in mind: ditto a twice-weekly stint on the local hospital radio.
However, thanks to some timely breaks and bolstered by the support of friends and the devotion of a long-lost lover, it looks as if I am about to achieve my life's ambition in no uncertain terms. Thank you, Sir Alec. I am only sorry you did not live long enough to enjoy the fruits of your inspiration.'