The philosophical thoughts of Adam Mathews

Adam Mathews talked and thought and bragged all the time. It drove everybody around him insane. That was true until he met Gloria Furtwangler, a female feminist who claimed to have been made in a factory inside the dwarf planet, Ceres. Sensing a kindred spirit, the lawyer became a science fiction writer just so that Furtwangler might write a book about him. She had already written several books about Austrian authors like Anthony Staarkard. Perhaps she would want to write a book about an Australian author, too, if his works were sufficiently cerebral, Adam speculated. Agreeing to co-write a biography of Warren Aartplonk was a promising first step in this intellectual romance. Aartplonk had intrigued his readers for years because of his views about flying saucers and whales. But Adam still needed to prove that he was a feminist to truly win Furtwangler's heart. As a visitor from space she was not impressed by moral posturing or empty words, or the planet Earth more generally. Adam would need to do or write something real to prove that he respected women as much as Gloria Furtwangler wanted. With the discovery of an Earthlike planet complete with a Golden Gate Bridge and a chain of family-friendly hamburger restaurants called McDonald's, Adam Mathews thought he had stumbled upon a way to prove he was a feminist without his motivations being called into question. If you lived on Earth, or an Earthlike planet, you would want to know which was which, wouldn't you? "These metafictions prove that Adam Mathews is not just a himbo." - Gloria Furtwangler