The Compassionate Republican's . . .

Robert Lesser is a graduate of the University of Mars where he obtained a B.S. degree in Earth Studies. Currently, he is the senior correspondent for the Martian Chronicles contributing a weekly column on Human Affairs. His first introduction was a forced landing in Roswell, New Mexico in 1946 on board a flying saucer that had been damaged by a small meteorite. He was awarded the Martian Congressional Medal of Honor for piloting his cracked saucer to a safe landing saving his entire crew andpassengers. Since all Martians have the ability to become invisible the request for complete secrecy from the U.S. Air Force Generals and the Tri-Lateral Commission was easily obtained and remains effective to this day as we walk among you. Invisibility has enhanced his career as a print journalist enabling him to be privy to the secret stealings of needy congressmen and their brothers, the Wall Street Thieves. And to produce the most popular reality television show on M9/13 'Watch the Earthlings Do IT!" (Like all Martians his eyes? Digital cameras with infrared so even your precautions of turning off your bedroom lights and pulling down the window shade will not subtract one loud laugh from the entire Martian adult population's enjoyment of watching you and your wife's bizarre earthling sex!) It should be known that Robert Lesser firmly disagrees with all the principles, content and recipes in this cookbook. It is against good health, it is wrong, cutting apart the human body into separate pieces then, broiling, boiling and frying them in gourmet sauces and spices. All the precious vitamins, anti-sickness nutrients and nourishing liquids are lost in heat of cooking. The good health these liquids promise and provide, inside the sealed envelope of the skin are lost. Our Martian method of eating you is much more civilized. We restrict our diet to capturing the Missing Children on the Sides of Milk Canons and swallow the smallest ones fingers on each hand and could, therefore, type the manuscript at less than a penny a page and finish it within the time frame of two and a half minutes! Throughout the entire plan., he and his wife are known as cultural pioneers in outer spaced intermarriage. In fact, galactic intermarriage, since he is from Mars and she is from Venus. (But adopting a liberal attitude learned on Earth, they have agreed to allow their children to choose the planet of their choice upon reaching maturity.)