The Student EQ Edge

Preface ix About the Authors xi 1 Introduction to Emotional Intelligence 1 Emotional Intelligence Overview 2 A Word About EI Scales and Skills 4 Th e Student EQ Edge: Student Workbook: An Overview 4 Why Refl ection? 5 2 Case Studies of Emotionally Intelligent (and Not Emotionally Intelligent!) Behavior 7 Case Study #1: Why Can't I Make an A? 7 Case Study #2: 15 Years to Graduate 8 Case Study #3: But I'm Good! 10 Case Study #4: Starting College 11 Case Study #5: Shared Responsibilities 12 Case Study #6: A Costly Decision 13 Case Study #7: First Job Jitters 14 Case Study #8: No Way 15 Case Study #9: Twins? 17 3 Emotional Self-Awareness 19 Worksheet 3.1: Feelings Journal 21 Worksheet 3.2: Hot Buttons 22 Worksheet 3.3: ABCDE Exercise--Th e Impact of Th oughts on Emotions and Behaviors 24 Worksheet 3.4: Hot Buttons on Reality TV 26 Worksheet 3.5: Positive and Negative Aff ect 27 Worksheet 3.6: Self-Development Plan for Emotional Self-Awareness 28 4 Self-Regard 29 Worksheet 4.1: Who Am I? 31 Worksheet 4.2: Locus of Control Scale (Rotter, 1966) 32 Worksheet 4.3: Positive and Negative Self-Talk 35 Worksheet 4.4: 3600 Feedback 36 Worksheet 4.5: Modern Family 37 Worksheet 4.6: Self-Development Plan for Self-Regard 38 5 Self-Actualization 39 Worksheet 5.1: Who Am I? 41 Worksheet 5.2: Emotions Meter 42 Worksheet 5.3: Quotes, Sayings, and Songs--A Window into You! 43 Worksheet 5.4: Defi ning Your Personal Mission Statement 44 Worksheet 5.5: Th e Amazing Race 45 Worksheet 5.6: Self-Development Plan for Self-Actualization 46 6 Emotional Expression 47 Worksheet 6.1: Observing Emotions 50 Worksheet 6.2: Observing Your Emotions 51 Worksheet 6.3: Follow the Leader 53 Worksheet 6.4: "I" Messages 57 Worksheet 6.5: TV Emotions 60 Worksheet 6.6: Self-Development Plan for Emotional Expression 62 7 Independence 63 Worksheet 7.1: Private Eye 66 Worksheet 7.2: By Yourself 69 Worksheet 7.3: Please Do Th is for Me! 70 Worksheet 7.4: Reality TV--Too Needy, Too Alone, or Just Right? 71 Worksheet 7.5: On My Own 72 Worksheet 7.6: Self-Development Plan for Independence 74 8 Assertiveness 75 Worksheet 8.1: Assertive, Aggressive, or Passive? 78 Worksheet 8.2: It Seems So Easy When Others Do It 80 Worksheet 8.3: Giving Feedback 81 Worksheet 8.4: Controversial Issues 83 Worksheet 8.5: Assertiveness Quiz 84 Worksheet 8.6: Self-Development Plan for Assertiveness 86 9 Interpersonal Relationship 87 Worksheet 9.1: My Favorite Person 90 Worksheet 9.2: Sharing Secrets 92 Worksheet 9.3: Scaling the Intimacy Wall 93 Worksheet 9.4: Beginning a Relationship 94 Worksheet 9.5: Getting Closer 95 Worksheet 9.6: Self-Development Plan for Interpersonal Relationship 96 10 Empathy 97 Worksheet 10.1: What Is Empathy? 99 Worksheet 10.2: Th e Art of Questions 100 Worksheet 10.3: Refl ective Listening 102 Worksheet 10.4: Empathy Assessment 103 Worksheet 10.5: Listening Even When It's Hard to Do! 106 Worksheet 10.6: Self-Development Plan for Empathy 108 11 Social Responsibility 109 Worksheet 11.1: Doing What's Right 112 Worksheet 11.2: Cooperation 114 Worksheet 11.3: A Company's Social Responsibility Policy 115 Worksheet 11.4: My Social Responsibility Policy 116 Worksheet 11.5: Take Action! 117 Worksheet 11.6: Self-Development Plan for Social Responsibility 118 12 Reality Testing 119 Worksheet 12.1: My Big Decision 122 Worksheet 12.2: Th e Mirrors Around You 124 Worksheet 12.3: Failed Reality Testing 126 Worksheet 12.4: Decision-Making Interviews 127 Worksheet 12.5: Reality-Testing Scenarios 128 Worksheet 12.6: Self-Development Plan for Reality Testing 130 13 Problem Solving 131 Worksheet 13.1: What Is My Emotion? 134 Worksheet 13.2: Failed Decisions Revisited 136 Worksheet 13.3: Solving Your Problems 137 Worksheet 13.4: But Can I Really Change My Emotion? 139 Worksheet 13.5: One Fine Day 140 Worksheet 13.6: Self-Development Plan for Problem Solving 141 14 Impulse Control 143 Worksheet 14.1: Marshmallow Cravings 146 Worksheet 14.2: But I Want . . . 147 Worksheet 14.3: Survivor 148 Worksheet 14.4: No Regrets? 149 Worksheet 14.5: Strategies for Success 150 Worksheet 14.6: Self-Development Plan for Impulse Control 151 15 Flexibility 153 Worksheet 15.1: Refl ections About Change 156 Worksheet 15.2: Flexibility Survey 157 Worksheet 15.3: Th e Price of Infl exibility 159 Worksheet 15.4: Stretching Yourself 161 Worksheet 15.5: Flexibility Forecasting 162 Worksheet 15.6: Self-Development Plan for Flexibility 164 16 Stress Tolerance 165 Worksheet 16.1: Identifying Your Stressors 168 Worksheet 16.2: Understanding Why You Get Stressed 169 Worksheet 16.3: Irrational Th inking and Stress 170 Worksheet 16.4: Resources for Coping 172 Worksheet 16.5: Stress Busters 173 Worksheet 16.6: Self-Development Plan for Stress Tolerance 174 17 Optimism 175 Worksheet 17.1: Optimism Begins with Framing 179 Worksheet 17.2: De-motivators--Watch Your Self-Talk 180 Worksheet 17.3: Assessing Your Optimism 182 Worksheet 17.4: Pep Talks and Persistence 184 Worksheet 17.5: Perseverance Defi ned 186 Worksheet 17.6: Self-Development Plan for Optimism 187 18 Happiness 189 Worksheet 18.1: Taking Stock of Your Happiness Level 192 Worksheet 18.2: Laugh a Little, Laugh a Lot 193 Worksheet 18.3: Does Money Buy Happiness? 194 Worksheet 18.4: Well-Being Indicators 195 Worksheet 18.5: Th e Pursuit of Happyness 197 Worksheet 18.6: One Commitment--Self-Development Plan for Happiness 198 References 199 Appendix A KISS Strategies for Improving Emotional Intelligence 201 Appendix B Movie Selections for Learning About Emotional Intelligence 213