Great Myths of Intimate Relationships

Acknowledgments ix Introduction 1 1 Sex 4 #1 Men have a stronger libido than women 5 #2 Hooking up in college is bad for women 12 #3 All marriages have been consummated 20 #4 All marriages are sexually active 24 2 Attraction and Courtship 30 #5 Being smooth is the best way to pick someone up 31 #6 Opposites attract 42 #7 People know what they want in a partner 47 3 Online Dating 52 #8 Having access to innumerable online profiles of potential partners increases the likelihood of finding Mr. or Ms. Right 53 #9 Meeting potential partners electronically prior to meeting them in person decreases the chances of a successful relationship 59 #10 Couples who are "matched" by online dating services are more likely to have satisfying relationships 66 4 Same?]Sex Relationships 71 #11 The gender to which people are attracted is stable (or: the gender to which people are attracted is fluid) 73 #12 There are no differences between same?]sex relationships and heterosexual relationships 80 #13 Children raised by other?]sex couples are better off than children raised by same?]sex couples 85 5 Predicting Success and Failure in Relationships 92 #14 Living together before marriage is a good way to determine whether you're with the right person 94 #15 Premarital counseling or relationship education programs prevent discord and divorce 100 #16 Good communication is the key to a happy relationship 109 #17 The key to a good relationship is knowing how to solve your problems 114 #18 Having children brings couples closer 121 #19 Stress is bad for relationships 128 #20 Supporting your partner will improve your relationship 133 6 Differences, Discord, and Dissolution 142 #21 Men are from Mars, women are from Venus 143 #22 Only men perpetrate violence in intimate relationships 150 #23 Marital therapy doesn't work 156 #24 The first cut is the deepest 161 #25 Things will improve once you're divorced 167 Coda 174 References 175 Author Index 229 Subject Index 244