The Book for the Lazy Bitch

Finally, a book for people who think reading should come with a nap break.

The Book for the Lazy Bitch is a brutally sarcastic gag gift book for the chronically unmotivated, the professional procrastinator, the couch goblin, the friend who says "I'll do it tomorrow" and somehow means next fiscal year, and anyone who proudly treats effort like a contagious disease.

This groundbreaking literary achievement was carefully designed for readers who want the satisfaction of finishing a book without the trauma of actually reading one. With one word at a time, ridiculous bonus sections, a Certificate of Completion, a Glossary for the Slow People, and a painfully sarcastic Q&A with the author, this book delivers exactly what it promises: almost nothing - but somehow, still enough.

Perfect for:

Friends with no motivation
Coworkers who avoid work like it owes them money
Family members who need to be humbled
Partners who "rest their eyes" during every movie
Anyone with a dark sense of humor
People who buy books just to prove they own books

Inside, readers will discover a reading experience so easy it could have been a text message, but then nobody could charge money for it.

Sarcastic, stupid, weirdly motivational, and aggressively unnecessary, The Book for the Lazy Bitch is the perfect joke gift for birthdays, holidays, office parties, white elephant exchanges, best friends, lazy legends, and anyone who needs to be reminded that doing nothing is technically still doing something.

Warning: May cause sudden productivity.
Just kidding. You're still you.