Stand-Up Put-Downs

For a stand-up comedian, a heckler is either a curse or a blessing. On one hand, the drunk at the back of the room yelling incoherent nonsense can ruin the evening for everyone. But on the other, a funny, well-timed heckle can really ramp up the laughter in the room. Either way, all stand-ups know they must be prepared to deal with hecklers by using the most effective weapon at their disposal - the put-down. Whether they are sharp enough to fire them off on the spot or they have a battery of tried-and-tested insults to suit every different occasion, put-downs are an essential part of every comedian's repertoire. Here Rufus Hound, compere extraordinaire, has compiled 200 of his favourites. Read on, and laugh along at some of the funniest insults in comedy history.