How Do You Feel?
One Doctor's Search for Humanity in Medicine
Published on 16. January 2025
Book
Paperback/Softback
288 pages
978-1-6680-8481-6 (ISBN)
Description
A poignant and thought-provoking memoir following one psychiatrist and four of her patients as they deal with the unspoken mental and physical costs of caring for others-perfect for fans of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and The In-Between.
For Dr. Jessi Gold, everything was absolutely fine-until it suddenly wasn't. As an assistant professor, practicing psychiatrist, university wellness leader, regular media expert, and dedicated friend and family member, Jessi was used to being constantly busy. After all, people-her patients, colleagues, and loved ones-needed her, so who was she to say no to any opportunity to help, be that an extra therapy session, corporate wellness talk, or please for a friend. She was a doctor, trained to serve, to put the needs of others before her own. But when Jessi is so mentally overwhelmed that she commits an unthinkable error during a patient session, she's forced to reevaluate everything that the medical system has taught her.
While reassessing her own complex relationship to the health-care industry, Jessi begins to examine it through the eyes of some of her healthcare worker patients-a thirty-something resident with OCD, a pregnant nurse suffering from PTSD, an aspiring medical student with crippling test anxiety, and an experienced ER physician who feels completely overwhelmed. In their discussions of burnout, perfectionism, empathy, and the emotional burden of working in health care, and through her own personal therapy sessions, Jessi recognizes that she is not alone in struggling to maintain her humanity, in a field that she chose because of its humanity in the first place.
Expertly weaving research expertise with unforgettable stories and raw emotion, How Do You Feel? demonstrates the unbridled capacity that we as humans have for connecting, learning, and growing. At once deeply personal, but also utterly universal, it reminds us all that when caring for others, we first have to remember to care for ourselves.
For Dr. Jessi Gold, everything was absolutely fine-until it suddenly wasn't. As an assistant professor, practicing psychiatrist, university wellness leader, regular media expert, and dedicated friend and family member, Jessi was used to being constantly busy. After all, people-her patients, colleagues, and loved ones-needed her, so who was she to say no to any opportunity to help, be that an extra therapy session, corporate wellness talk, or please for a friend. She was a doctor, trained to serve, to put the needs of others before her own. But when Jessi is so mentally overwhelmed that she commits an unthinkable error during a patient session, she's forced to reevaluate everything that the medical system has taught her.
While reassessing her own complex relationship to the health-care industry, Jessi begins to examine it through the eyes of some of her healthcare worker patients-a thirty-something resident with OCD, a pregnant nurse suffering from PTSD, an aspiring medical student with crippling test anxiety, and an experienced ER physician who feels completely overwhelmed. In their discussions of burnout, perfectionism, empathy, and the emotional burden of working in health care, and through her own personal therapy sessions, Jessi recognizes that she is not alone in struggling to maintain her humanity, in a field that she chose because of its humanity in the first place.
Expertly weaving research expertise with unforgettable stories and raw emotion, How Do You Feel? demonstrates the unbridled capacity that we as humans have for connecting, learning, and growing. At once deeply personal, but also utterly universal, it reminds us all that when caring for others, we first have to remember to care for ourselves.
Reviews / Votes
"How Do You Feel? is a thought-provoking exploration of healing and compassion in the face of adversity. Guided by Dr. Gold's keen insight and sharp writing, we are afforded a rare glimpse into psychiatry's inner sanctum. Dr. Gold has an extraordinary understanding of the human condition, and her empathy emanates from the pages. A must-read."-Jen Gunter, MD, New York Times bestselling author of The Menopause Manifesto and The Vagina Bible "In How Do You Feel? Jessi Gold, M.D., opens a compassionate, intelligent portal into the lives of the healthcare workers struggling with their own mental health. Gold's deep-dive into the human psyches of those who serve others in the healthcare industry illuminates how difficult it is for the helpers among us to get help for themselves. With the perfect blend of stories from her practice, science, and personal narrative, Gold sheds light on the price healthcare workers pay for neglecting themselves and breaks through the stigma that keeps so many of them silent. This book is a salve for anyone facing burnout in any field, and Gold is the best kind of guide: warm, witty, and genuinely invested in other people's lives. " -Christie Tate, New York Times bestselling author of Group "How Do You Feel? is a compelling, courageous, and portrait of a psychiatrist. I've never read such an open-hearted and honest account of what it takes to work in mental health care today. This is an ode to the art of clinical care-a paean to empathy. Jessi Gold is a true healer and this book is a gift." -Susannah Cahalan, New York Times bestselling author of Brain on Fire "In this honest, wise, and heart-filled memoir, Jessi Gold reveals what it takes to retain the humanity that medicine so often forces doctors to set aside, and what it means to help yourself while helping others. I loved this book, both as a journalist who has tried to provide a similar kind of service and as a patient who has sought help from therapy." - Ed Yong, Pulitzer-Prize winning author of An Immense World "If you've ever said "I'm fine" when you weren't. If you've ever been so many things to so many people that you became unavailable to yourself. If you've ever believed you were too much, not nearly enough, or somehow, inexplicably, both at once. This book is for you. For us. Jessi Gold's How Do You Feel? is one of the most human, most reassuring books I've ever read about the intersection of mental health, work, medicine, and culture. What a gift." -Maggie Smith, New York Times bestselling author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful "This book will make you laugh, marvel, reflect and grow. Most of all, it will make you feel seen. Whether you're a healthcare worker, someone who loves one, someone who sees one, or someone who is struggling, Dr. Jessi Gold's words - and the many intimate stories here, including her own - will be a balm and a guide." -Lucy Kalanithi, MD, Clinical associate Professor of medicine, Stanford university, and widow of Dr. Paul Kalanithi, author of When Breath Becomes Air "In How Do You Feel, Dr. Gold manages the seemingly impossible. She gently brings healthcare workers into conversation with our sometimes complicated inner worlds, and does this with wisdom, humor and candor. She lovingly nudges us to awareness and acknowledgement of the immense emotional load we've carried and holds space for our collective reflection. Ultimately she calls on us to do the most radical thing imaginable: to care for ourselves even as we care for others. A true game-changer, moving conversations about caregiver mental health into an exciting, new and generative space." -Rana Awdish, MS MD Author of In ShockMore details
Edition
Local Edition
Language
English
Place of publication
United States
Publishing group
Simon & Schuster
Product notice
Paperback (trade)
Dimensions
Height: 233 mm
Width: 154 mm
Thickness: 21 mm
Weight
308 gr
ISBN-13
978-1-6680-8481-6 (9781668084816)
Copyright in bibliographic data and cover images is held by Nielsen Book Services Limited or by the publishers or by their respective licensors: all rights reserved.
Schweitzer Classification
Person
Psychiatrist Jessi Gold, MD, MS, is the Chief Wellness Officer of the University of Tennessee System and an associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Tennessee Health Science Center. She is a fierce mental health advocate and highly sought-after expert in the media on everything from burnout to celebrity self-disclosure. Dr. Gold has written widely for the popular press, including for The New York Times, The Atlantic, InStyle, Slate, and Self. In her clinical practice, she sees health care workers, trainees, and young adults in college. A graduate of the University of Pennsylvania (with a degree in anthropology), the Yale School of Medicine, and the Stanford University Department of Psychiatry, she spends her free time traveling with her friends, watching live music (especially Taylor Swift) or mindless television, and on walks with her dog, Winnie. Find her on X, Instagram, TikTok, or Threads @DrJessiGold.