How to be Real

Reviews / Votes

With far-reaching expertise and crystal clarity, Stephen Frosh tackles what we all want to grasp, "how to be real", knowing that the messiness of life means we can never be fully sure of our own sense of authenticity. In these pages, Frosh addresses the necessary illusions that daily sustain us as we try to confront, or more often work to camouflage, our inevitably dependent, insecure and vulnerable lives. A crucial text for all of us. -- Lynne Segal, author of <i>Lean on Me: A Radical Politics of Care </i> Frosh brings sagacity, verve and deep ethical understanding to his survival guide. Rarely have the social, political and psychoanalytical been bound together in one book with such lucidity - all in the service of confronting our current ills. -- Lisa Appignanesi, author of <i>MAD, BAD AND SAD: A HISTORY OF WOMEN AND THE MIND DOCTORS</i> We only become real for ourselves by first acknowledging the reality of others - who may have different ideas of what's real. It's just one lesson from this indispensable survival guide to a reality many of us, in a world grown too frightening and uncertain, are seeking to escape. Yet the wisdom and timeliness of this remarkable book is that it shows what being real can also mean: not only reckoning with life's harshest truths, but possessing life's deepest pleasures and possibilities as well. -- Devorah Baum, author of <i>On Marriage</i> Stephen Frosh is an excellent and humane guide to the meanings of selfhood in challenging times. His book leads us through a maze of debates, thought experiments, and arguments. It'll be of immediate interest to anyone grappling with the implications of the AI revolution for psychological therapies. A timely, readable, and fascinating introduction. -- Daniel Pick, author of <i>Brainwashed</i> Frosh wants us to show up fully to our overwhelmed, over-mediated, and politically fractured twenty-first-century reality. How to Be Real is a lament and a lifeline. In a world where the self is constantly under assault-by narcissistic leaders, simulacra of social media, and the soft lies we tell ourselves-Frosh turns to psychoanalysis, that surreal and unruly science born a century ago, for a path back towards reality. This is not a self-help book, not exactly. It's something more ethically demanding: a call to live with discomfort, vulnerability, and truth.' -- Jamieson Webster, author of <i>On Breathing</i> In an age of platitudinous pop wisdom and facile quick fixes, Stephen Frosh offers us something more difficult and infinitely richer: a penetrating anatomy of the complex weave of psychic, social and political forces that help and hinder our sense of the world's and our own reality. -- Josh Cohen, author of <i>All The Rage</i> Addresses some key questions, from birth until death, of our present age. Can we live full lives at a time when we are overwhelmed by unreal influences? How do we grieve, listen to the ghosts of the past, engage with strangers, recognize inauthenticity? Stephen Frosh has a profound understanding of these questions based on years of experience as a sociopsychologist. -- Bryan Cheyette, author of <i>The Ghetto: A Very Short Introduction</i>