Baggage

"An intimate look at the making of a man, an actor, an advocate—and most importantly—a happy human being. A wonderful book that is funny, honest, fearless, and generous in its vulnerability." —Douglas Stuart, Booker Prize-winning author of Shuggie Bain

A candid and captivating exploration of identity, resilience, and reinvention, Baggage follows Alan Cumming as he navigates the highs and lows of Hollywood, relationships, and personal growth with humor, honesty, and an unflinching commitment to authenticity.

There is absolutely no logical reason why I am here. The life trajectory my nationality and class and circumstances portended for me was not even remotely close to the one I now navigate. But logic is a science and living is an art.

The release I felt in writing my first memoir, Not My Father’s Son, was matched only by how my speaking out empowered so many to engage with their own trauma. I was reminded of the power of my words and the absolute duty of authenticity.

But…

No one ever fully recovers from their past. There is no cure for it. You just learn to manage and prioritize it. I believe the second you feel you have triumphed or overcome something – an abuse, an injury to the body or the mind, an addiction, a character flaw, a habit, a person – you have merely decided to stop being vigilant and embraced denial as your modus operandi. And that is what this book is about, and for: to remind you not to buy in to the Hollywood ending.

Ironically maybe, much of Baggage chronicles my life in Hollywood and how, since I recovered from a nervous breakdown at 28, work has repeatedly whisked me away from personal calamities to sets and stages around the world. It is also about marriage(s): starting with the break-up of my first (to a woman) and ending with the ascension to my second (to a man) with many kissed toads in between!

But in everything, each failed relationship or encounter with a legend (Liza! X Men! Gore Vidal! Kubrick! Spice Girls!), in every bad decision or moment of sensual joy I have endeavored to show what I have learned and how I’ve become who I am today: a happy, flawed, vulnerable, fearless middle-aged man, with a lot of baggage.

This is not a story about overcoming the past. It’s about learning to carry it.

• A Raw Mental Health Journey: From recovering from a nervous breakdown at 28 to rejecting the simple 'Hollywood ending,' Cumming explores what it really means to manage trauma instead of trying to cure it.
• Unforgettable Hollywood Encounters: Candid, hilarious, and sometimes shocking tales from the sets of X-Men and Goldeneye to unforgettable run-ins with legends like Stanley Kubrick, the Spice Girls, and Liza Minnelli.
• From Broadway to Blockbusters: Follow the path from his electrifying, Tony Award-winning performance in Cabaret to his life on the sets of major Hollywood productions.
• A Story of Love and Identity: An honest look at love, sexuality, and marriage—from the end of his first marriage to a woman to the beginning of his second to a man.