Unstuck

You don't want others to see you as a victim. But what if you see yourself as a victim? I often picture myself as a physically-able person. Every time I do, I ask myself countless questions like: What would I be doing today if I didn't have dystonia? Would I be married? Where would I live? What kind of experiences would I have had by now? How would I be spending my days? If I focus on those thoughts for too long, I find myself chasing "could've" or "would've" statements into a deep whirlpool of emotions that can take me down for days or weeks at a time. One question leads to another, and before I know what is happening, I am stuck in resentment. I know that asking God questions isn't a bad thing, but I also know He may never answer some of the questions I have. Every disability has its challenges, and all of them require faith and persistence. But moving from resentment to resilience is the greatest challenge of all. The hard part is remembering that God is good. Even when some days aren't.