Better Days
Tame Your Inner Critic
Published on 18. January 2024
Book
Paperback/Softback
208 pages
978-1-897238-84-4 (ISBN)
Description
In this life-changing book, writer and spiritual coach, Neal Allen, teaches us a stunning new method for quieting the inner critic.
"Better Days will help you get to know your inner critic, and quiet its yammering, and in so doing, get to know the person you were born to be." - Anne Lamott, Author of Dusk Night Dawn, Bird by Bird and others
What if your superego has it wrong?
That snarky little bully in your head...you know the one.
You've lived under its weight for decades.
I'm a fraud, I'm lazy
I need to work harder
I need to be tougher, funnier, calmer...
I need to stay quiet, look pretty, stop showing off
I need to put others before me, I need to put myself first
I need to be perfect
I need to hide who I really am
Sound familiar?
You know that its scolding voice is harmful to you, but you can't will it away. You accept a life with short periods of peace and long stretches of stress and anxiety. But you don't have to.
In this revolutionary new book, Better Days: Tame Your Inner Critic, writer and spiritual coach, Neal Allen, examines a critical aspect of the human psyche that often gets ignored - the superego.
Building on Freud's idea that the superego necessarily forms a person's moral conscience, Neal explains how this voice in your head develops in childhood as a survival mechanism, but when no longer needed for protection, camps out in your mind like a personal parasite. A parasite that doesn't belong.
Through simple and engaging exercises and explorations, Neal leads you into meeting, confronting, and ultimately quieting your own inner critic.
By shedding off the burden of the superego, you can overcome tired patterns of reward and punishment, reduce the self-talk that harms you, and ultimately clear an open space for the life you deserve, one that is gentler and more peaceful.
Just imagine...if all that nasty, negative chatter in your head just evaporated ... what would you do next?
Better days are just ahead.
"Better Days will help you get to know your inner critic, and quiet its yammering, and in so doing, get to know the person you were born to be." - Anne Lamott, Author of Dusk Night Dawn, Bird by Bird and others
What if your superego has it wrong?
That snarky little bully in your head...you know the one.
You've lived under its weight for decades.
I'm a fraud, I'm lazy
I need to work harder
I need to be tougher, funnier, calmer...
I need to stay quiet, look pretty, stop showing off
I need to put others before me, I need to put myself first
I need to be perfect
I need to hide who I really am
Sound familiar?
You know that its scolding voice is harmful to you, but you can't will it away. You accept a life with short periods of peace and long stretches of stress and anxiety. But you don't have to.
In this revolutionary new book, Better Days: Tame Your Inner Critic, writer and spiritual coach, Neal Allen, examines a critical aspect of the human psyche that often gets ignored - the superego.
Building on Freud's idea that the superego necessarily forms a person's moral conscience, Neal explains how this voice in your head develops in childhood as a survival mechanism, but when no longer needed for protection, camps out in your mind like a personal parasite. A parasite that doesn't belong.
Through simple and engaging exercises and explorations, Neal leads you into meeting, confronting, and ultimately quieting your own inner critic.
By shedding off the burden of the superego, you can overcome tired patterns of reward and punishment, reduce the self-talk that harms you, and ultimately clear an open space for the life you deserve, one that is gentler and more peaceful.
Just imagine...if all that nasty, negative chatter in your head just evaporated ... what would you do next?
Better days are just ahead.
Reviews / Votes
"No other system has ever so efficiently broken through my lifelong sense of isolation as the work you are about to encounter, and at the same time, been so welcoming and even fun. Better Days will help you get to know your inner critic, and quiet its yammering, and in so doing, get to know the person you were born to be." - Anne Lamott, author of Dusk Night Dawn, Bird by Bird and others"In Neal Allen's book, you'll find a tool to help meet one of the most daunting challenges to a better life: That voice that has taken up residence inside you and berates, cajoles, warns you every step of the way. The tool can help you sleep better, work better, help you find a sense of ease in your life."- Jeff Greenfield, Politico writer and veteran TV network political analyst
"What if love is just the way things are when I'm not separated from things?" Neal Allen asks us at the end of this luminous jewel of a book. With penetrating clarity and lightheartedness, the author walks us through a remarkably accessible and effective method for dismantling the critical voice that has convinced almost all of us that we are separate and doomed. The spaciousness and ease that flow into the space that bossy little "gremlin" used to take up transform daily life from an anxious trudge into a tender adventure. Highly recommended." - Mirabai Starr, author of Caravan of No Despair and Wild Mercy
"I happened to read Better Days on a day that was not one of my best and found such help in Allen's simple, direct, and above all, useful insights. Reading this book feels like having a wise and keenly observant uncle tell you everything they've learned about how to not be miserable. If you're ready to stop being an asshole to yourself and need more than fluffy affirmations, this book is for you." - Nadia Bolz-Weber, podcast host of The Confessional, author of Shameless
"There are great tools here to step out of the clutches of the critical inner voices that undermine your true spirit. Tame the critic and open the gate to inner well-being. Neal takes you by the hand and leads you out of the thicket and brambles of self-criticism to the meadow of well-being. Let him guide you." - Jack Kornfield, Author of A Path With Heart
"A playful and compassionate book about confronting the mental chatter that keeps us from mental peace and quiet. Neal Allen writes as a friend and guide ready to put an arm around you and say, "Let's see if we can get the neighbors to pipe down a bit." - Kate Bowler, author of No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear)and Everything Happens for a Reason (And Other Lies I've Loved)
"This book is an invitation to separate the helpful parts of what we call our ego from the defensive, self-righteous, and sullen parts of it that no longer serve us. Allen shows readers that there is a more joyful, honest, and peaceful way to exist once the harsh critic within is understood and transformed." - Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Life
"In Better Days, the mean, soul-crushing voice we all endure is addressed by Neal Allen with grace and wisdom born of direct experience. His kind voice models all that he is teaching so that as we read, we are steeped in kindness itself. Beautiful. - Geneen Roth, bestselling author of Women Food and God
"A novel and well-articulated approach to intentionality." - Kirkus Reviews
More details
Language
English
Place of publication
Vancouver
Canada
Product notice
With printed dust jacket
Illustrations
Decorative illustrations
Dimensions
Height: 230 mm
Width: 150 mm
Thickness: 24 mm
Weight
408 gr
ISBN-13
978-1-897238-84-4 (9781897238844)
Copyright in bibliographic data and cover images is held by Nielsen Book Services Limited or by the publishers or by their respective licensors: all rights reserved.
Schweitzer Classification
Persons
Neal Allen is a writer, spiritual coach and speaker whose chief interest is removing obstacles of the ego. He is the author of Shapes of Truth: Discover God Inside You (Self Published, 2021), and Better Days: Tame Your Inner Critic (Namaste Publishing, 2023). A former journalist and corporate executive, he earned master's degrees in Political Science and Eastern Classics. He lives with his wife the writer, Anne Lamott, in Northern California.
Anne Lamott is the author of many best sellers. Her seven novels include Rosie and Imperfect Birds. Her twelve non-fiction works include Bird by Bird, Operating Instructions, Help Thanks Wow, and most recently, Dusk Night Dawn. She lives in Northern California with her husband and author of Better Days, Neal Allen.
Anne Lamott is the author of many best sellers. Her seven novels include Rosie and Imperfect Birds. Her twelve non-fiction works include Bird by Bird, Operating Instructions, Help Thanks Wow, and most recently, Dusk Night Dawn. She lives in Northern California with her husband and author of Better Days, Neal Allen.
Content
Chapter 1 - Hello, Parasite
Chapter 2 - First Grade: Paradise Lost
Chapter 3 - Meet Your Inner Critic
Chapter 4 - Confront Your Inner Critic
Chapter 5- Take Charge
Chapter 6 - Grow Up and Relax
Chapter 7 - Tame the Parasite
Chapter 8 - Follow Your Nose to Freedom
Chapter 9 - Civilization and Its Discontents
Chapter 10 - What Me Worry?
Chapter 11 - Enjoy Being Ordinary
Chapter 12 - I See You, Superego
Chapter 13 - Repeating Questions
Chapter 14 - Identify Your Defenses
Chapter 15 - Waste Your Time
Chapter 16 - God and Religion
Chapter 17 - Love
Chapter 18 - Better Days
Appendix: Reading Group Guide
Chapter 2 - First Grade: Paradise Lost
Chapter 3 - Meet Your Inner Critic
Chapter 4 - Confront Your Inner Critic
Chapter 5- Take Charge
Chapter 6 - Grow Up and Relax
Chapter 7 - Tame the Parasite
Chapter 8 - Follow Your Nose to Freedom
Chapter 9 - Civilization and Its Discontents
Chapter 10 - What Me Worry?
Chapter 11 - Enjoy Being Ordinary
Chapter 12 - I See You, Superego
Chapter 13 - Repeating Questions
Chapter 14 - Identify Your Defenses
Chapter 15 - Waste Your Time
Chapter 16 - God and Religion
Chapter 17 - Love
Chapter 18 - Better Days
Appendix: Reading Group Guide