A compassionate practical guide to retaining your dignity when bullied in a team setting, speaking up for a colleague who is attacked in front of you, preventing a bully from controlling you or your team and developing a bully-proof mindset.
'Aryanne knows pretty much all there is to know about....the bullies of this world.' Joy Orpen, Sunday Independent (Ireland)
"A skilled team bully will conduct their campaign to set up the dynamics in which you feel isolated, coerced and alone; your team colleagues feel anxious, afraid and conflicted; and everyone in the team loses power and influence as relationships alter and connections fray.....The good news is that these dynamics are not set in stone....You and your team colleagues have a lot more influence than you realise and, used wisely, you and your colleagues can interrupt, alter or prevent the bullying dynamic."
Bullying in teams can be highly toxic. Those targeted by the bully often experience considerable distress, a dramatic loss of self-esteem and tumbling self-confidence during a campaign. Feelings of isolation or abandonment are common as trusted team colleagues turn a blind eye to the bullying. Previously effective working relationships deteriorate, the quality of work done by the team reduces, and the power dynamics in the team shift as established working alliances alter.
Learn how to protect yourself from the sometimes devastating impact of bullying in your team. Develop the skills and resilience you need to confront bullying behaviour, and discover how to retain your personal power under pressure during an attack. Learn how to speak out effectively and avoid becoming a passive enabler or an active colluder should you witness a team colleague being targeted. Rediscover your self-confidence and renew your self-belief after team bullying.
This compassionate guide is packed with practical wisdom. It is for people subject to bullying behaviour in their own team and for people who recognise a team member is being targeted by a colleague. It includes real-life examples and proven strategies through which to tackle team bullying safely and effectively. Whether the bully is your team manager, a peer or a more junior colleague, this book will provide you with tactics, insight and empathy through which to survive the bullying and thrive in the team. The book includes input on how to:
Combat bullying behaviour straightforwardly and effectively, retaining your personal power in the moment of an attack.
Recognise ways in which dynamics and allegiances alter as a result of bullying behaviour in your team.
Navigate the complex shifts in power dynamics which occur in your team when one colleague bullies another.
Respond effectively to a range of bullying tactics including whispering campaigns, outright untruths and unjust accusations of under-performance.
- Learn how to speak up for a colleague who is being bullied in front of the team.
Take steps to prevent yourself from becoming a passive enabler of bullying.
Ensure that your fear of being targeted doesn't result in you actively colluding with the bully.
Regain your self-esteem and self-confidence after team bullying.
Aryanne Oade has worked as a chartered psychologist for over twenty-five years. She coaches clients to recover from the debilitating effects of workplace bullying, and to re-discover their energy and enthusiasm. She is the bestselling author of Free Yourself from Workplace Bullying: Become Bully-Proof and Regain Control of Your Life and six other books. www.oadeassociates.com
Chapter 1 What is team bullying?
Chapter 2 Inside the mind of a team bully
Chapter 3 The toxic impact of bullying in a team environment
Chapter 4 Grooming in your team
Chapter 5 Responding effectively to bullying in your team
Chapter 6 When the bully is your team manager
Chapter 7 When the bully is your team peer
Chapter 8 When the bully is more junior than you
Chapter 9 Becoming bully-proof: rebuilding your self-belief and self-confidence